Baby's First Instruction Manual: How To Be the Center of the Universe

Babies don’t know much. Traumatized at birth, they are ill equipped to face the world. This essential guidebook, authored by a former newborn, will prepare them for life in the crib and beyond.

It covers such subjects as poop, pee, spit-up, circumcision, and pacifiers in a friendly and masterful manner.

Infants will learn to manipulate grandparents, thwart siblings, and survive babysitters and pediatricians. New moms and dads will learn about critical stages of infancy and feel quite superior about their own parenting successes.

In addition to its wisdom and humor, this excellent offering is good natured and funny. It makes an excellent gift for new parents and will make veteran parents reflect on their own journey while raising children, regardless of how they turned out.